By Kate D.
After the birth of my first daughter during COVID, I found myself navigating postpartum anxiety and depression, compounded by the overwhelming responsibility of caring for a newborn. It was difficult to leave her for even a few hours, so I ended up drifting away from the natural family planning I had been using before her birth. I was previously charting daily and met with my instructor religiously. Slowly, I started making observations of my cervical mucus, but not always add it to my chart. I cancelled appointments with my instructor. Eventually I ended up tracking my period in an app and just making mental notes about my cervical mucus. Occasionally, I would mark the day I thought I was ovulating, but it was very inconsistent.
My husband and I knew we needed to responsibly space our pregnancies through prayerful discernment. However, I lacked confidence in identifying ovulation, so we avoided intimacy altogether, which began to cause strain in our relationship.
When it comes to NFP, it’s tempting to try to figure things out on your own, especially when life gets busy or difficult. I attempted to “DIY” my charting with apps, but without the guidance of a skilled instructor, I missed important details. There were things I wasn’t noticing in my cycle—patterns that, when pointed out by an expert, could have made all the difference in my confidence and in trusting my body’s signals.
When I finally met with my previous NFP instructor, everything shifted. My instructor treated me with grace and never made me feel guilty or ashamed for attempting to do it all on my own nor for mistakes I made in identifying ovulation. She patiently walked me through my chart, explaining what I might have overlooked and how to interpret my signs of fertility more accurately. I gained confidence in identifying ovulation and started feeling more at ease with my own cycle.
The best part was how the renewed sense of understanding allowed me to open up communication with my husband. We began talking more openly about our fertility and our desires, which helped us rebuild intimacy and connection in our marriage. I was no longer the “gatekeeper” of sex and the only one who knew my fertility. We were able to share the responsibility and enter into a deeper intimacy.
The lesson for me was clear: NFP isn’t something you should “DIY”. An instructor’s expertise isn’t just about teaching you how to chart; it’s about helping you gain the confidence and clarity needed to discern with your spouse and understand your health and fertility. If you’ve been trying to go it alone or it has been a while since you have seen your instructor, consider reaching out for help—your relationship and peace of mind will thank you.