By Fr. Daniel Belkin

Homily Contest Winner – 2020

One thing that has really piqued my interest as a sort of technology enthusiast in the last several years has been the advances made in smart home technology. There have been great strides in making our homes more connected, or “smarter” than ever before. Whether it is controlling your thermostat, turning the lights on and off, streaming music to whatever room of your house, watching your electric meter, seeing video footage of every angle of the home- you name it, and it seems that we have the ability to do it. And, I’ll be one to admit it- I really enjoy having a home that is “smart” in many respects. I get to know exactly how much the air conditioning runs, how much the water heater is on, what is going on. It’s all about trying to better manage what is going on in my home- promoting harmony, and making improvements where I can.

Yet, when it comes to things that live in the home- are we as in sync as we would like to be? Speaking in specifically to our human person- how in tune are we with it? Often times we can get all the basics down, such as when we are hungry, what we want, when we want it, how to maintain a fairly healthy regimen- but what about when it comes to the sacrament of marriage, and when it comes to a spouse? What happens when we are dealing with systems that have to integrate, to sync up, and to be understood by one another? Certainly, we have to understand, in understanding ourselves first, that we are wonderfully and fearfully made- that God has created us, and created us with so many good things, and such intelligent design, that the human body is certainly a marvel to behold in many ways- just on it’s own. How about, though, when we consider our intelligent design whenever entering into the relationship of marriage? In certain respects, it can seem to become something of a more complicated system, but the reality is that, as God has designed male and female for each other, so He has designed both the male and female body in such a wonderful way that they serve to compliment each other- especially in the sacrament of marriage.

Certainly, we can understand this in broad strokes up front, but this is especially important when it comes to expressing love- especially as it is manifested in the conjugal act. This is certainly a beautiful interaction of a couple- but it is one that needs to especially be sensitive to the design and mystery of the human body. In some respects, we live in a society that is largely ignorant of the intelligent design of the body- in regards to fertility. Maybe it is in fact more proper to say that society, at large, it is well aware of the ability of conjugal love to generate new life- that there is something so powerful about the unity of this particular action that there is a giving of life- a physical manifestation of that love. However, society often wants to stifle this act in it’s powerful gift to self. It is understood that, often times, this action does in fact result in a new human life being formed- and so there are all sorts of methods that have been devised to, in some way, block or hinder the gift of love that a couple gives through this act- one that is meant to be a total self-gift is rendered to be only a partial gift, or even a rejection of the total gift that is being expressed via intercourse.

Yet, if I alluded to a smart home earlier, there is something of a “smart” system that holds a particular key to the proper understanding and function of the body of both a man and a woman. Many of you may have heard of Natural Family Planning- NFP- in passing, or maybe someone has spoken of it to you at some point- but what is it? In short, NFP provides a particular way of understanding the human body of both the man and woman, and allows them to not only express love in a total and free way, but it also gives a couple the ability to cooperate with God’s design. It allows, through a proper understanding, especially of the fertility of a woman, for a couple to make prudent decisions that, if a child isn’t a feasible addition to a family at that time, that, in cooperation with a woman’s fertility cycle, they can avoid pregnancy for a time. This is all done with reverence to the intelligent design that is put into place within the woman and in the man- there is never any withholding or working to block fertility in any way- but it is a cooperation with what naturally occurs. This doesn’t mean that it is only used to avoid either- but it can be used to also achieve pregnancy, in noting when the most appropriate time to conceive a child would be during her cycle.

In addition, this system helps, not only to help understand when things are going well, but it can also help to indicate and solve problems when things aren’t. If there are indications that things are not working as they should be, then there is the ability to address them through the help and technology available, especially in something called NaPro technology. Even when things aren’t working, especially in achieving a pregnancy, the ability, especially of the NFP model known as the Creighton model, helps to prevent problems, and to achieve pregnancy naturally, especially if a particular system or function isn’t working correctly for some reason.

But why does all of this matter?

All in all, NFP is here to serve as a way to understand the human body. It isn’t just as some sort ofmethod to simply prevent birth- even though it is, on average, more effective than any system of contraception; it allows for a greater understanding of the way that a relationship should work. It enables communication between a couple in an even more intimate way; as a couple is enabled to discuss fertility, and their relationship and love for one another in a new way, even in those times when, if a pregnancy isn’t desired, they practice abstinence. It instills a sense of reverence to both the body of a man and the body of a woman, as they work collaboratively to better understanding the beauty and the creation that took place in both of them, as they were fearfully and wonderfully made. This can lend itself to a stronger marriage- one that promotes total self-gift, better communication, and better understanding between a husband and a wife.

It also is a system of benefit in that it does not negate or damage any healthy function of the body. Rather, it avoids any damage, any chemicals, or any procedures that would in some way impede healthy function. Rather, it works in conjunction with what is already naturally in place, and helps a couple to become empowered by understanding and strengthening their use of this wonderful gift of fertility.

So, as we are in an age that is concerned with being connected- one that is concerned with having a home that is smart and understandable, let’s not short-change ourselves in regards to our design as couples, especially when it comes to the gift of sexuality. Let us rather consider the invitation, not only of the Church, but also of God’s intelligent design within each of us, to pursue a strengthened relationship- and a stronger family- as it is made available through Natural Family Planning. Who knows- maybe in an age that is all about smart things- this is one of the most smart, most understanding, and the best things that we can do to promote good, holy marriage, and a good and holy family.