By Ellen H.

“It is a story we couldn’t have written ourselves.”

I’ll never forget the first time I saw the word “infertility” in reference to myself.

I had just visited a new doctor for the first time in the city to which I had recently moved. My husband and I had bought a house, settled in, and decided it was time to start trying for a baby. So naturally, I figured I’d need to find a good OB-GYN. I went to her office for a twenty minute consultation, just a simple “getting to know you” type visit. We talked about the type of natural family planning we were using and about some of the symptoms I experienced each month. Thankfully my doctor was supportive of our decision to use NFP and was very knowledgeable about it as well. I shared with her that we had tried for a baby for 3 months and we hadn’t conceived yet. She recommended some supplements and told me to come back in a few months if I wasn’t pregnant.

Fast forward a few weeks to a casual day in June, and I find a bill in the mail from my doctor’s office. I opened it and discovered that I owed money for the visit due to the fact that my medical insurance “does not cover infertility”. My jaw dropped open and my face grew hot. I looked at the paper and wondered how I could be diagnosed with this so quickly. Thus began a stretch of months that turned into years with many more bills, doctor’s visits, and so much longing.

In those years, we relied on NFP to help us pinpoint the time of ovulation each month. The irony of this is that prior to our marriage, we had friends voice doubts regarding the success of using NFP to avoid a pregnancy. This didn’t sway our opinion however, and whether trying to avoid or achieve a pregnancy, we knew NFP was our top choice. The data it provides helped my doctor notice some patterns and ultimately refer me for surgery to remove endometriosis. 

The surgery didn’t immediately fix everything. We continued to try for a baby while also discerning adoption. We didn’t view adoption as a “last resort”; rather, we felt a great sense of peace as we prayerfully considered God might allow our marriage to bear fruit through the unique experience of adopting a child. However, God’s plan became clear the day after we completed our application to adopt through a local agency.

It was on that day, three years into our journey with infertility, that we first saw a positive pregnancy test. Nine months later, we welcomed our son, Isaac. It is a story we couldn’t have written ourselves. We believe NFP allowed us to abandon ourselves to God, the author of life. Rather than using artificial means to suppress or stimulate fertility, NFP reminds us that we are co-creators with God, and He in his infinite wisdom writes the story of each new life.

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