By Emily McCurren
I use Natural Family Planning because I want my marriage to be the truest reflection of God’s love as it can be. Christ gave his complete self in sacrifice for love of us. In order to love like Christ, it involves that we too hold nothing of ourselves back from God. By virtue of the sacrifice of Jesus, both husband and wife owe to each other, and God total and complete gift of self.
There is a solid peace that comes from being able to authentically give myself wholly to my spouse. There is also a peace that comes from my husband accepting the gift of my whole self- my body, my mind, my soul, and my fertility. We both know that we are not holding anything back from each other and there are absolutely no conditions placed on our love.
As a teen and young adult, I was told that practicing NFP would help my marriage, and I assumed because it would help our relationship be easy and happier automatically. What I did not expect, and what ended up happening, was that NFP brought us into deeper conversations about our relationship and about our love for each other. Sometimes these were hard conversations, but they were conversation we realize now realized brought us into closer understanding of each other and ultimately led to better practice of open communication.
We are co-creators with God, which means we are not in complete control of God’s plan for new life. As someone who has grown up in a culture that emphasizes predictability and minimizing risks, this is a challenging part of NFP for me. Even when you are open to bringing life into the world, God is still in control. For us, when we are hoping and praying for a child, this has looked like negative pregnancy tests and losing children through miscarriage. This has challenged me to grow in trust of our Creator and grow in humility allowing myself to become a willing instrument in God’s larger scheme of life.
As a mother who is 7 months pregnant right now, the daily struggle is real. I move awkwardly. I often feel nausea. I have to care for my other kids. I must balance daily life and work with the sticks, pricks, and tests. And I daily face the unknown challenges of upcoming childbirth. But I am not called to be selfish or live just for myself. I’m called to live radically, suffering for others like Jesus did. Being a parent has allowed me to enter into Jesus’ passion like no other time in my life.
Emily McCurren currently resides in Saint Louis City with her husband and two children, with one more on the way. She is an electrical engineer who enjoys spending time in nature and working on house projects.