By Danielle Dyann Abril
Happy St. Valentine’s Day to all those loving couples out there! We all know how it started out, loving glances across a candlelit table, long walks holding hands, romantic evenings alone, but now… is there something missing from that loving feeling? It seems like St. Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to stop and examine our most intimate relationships and ask ourselves are we truly nurturing them and showering them with the attention they deserve?
As anyone who has practiced Natural Family Planning for any length of time knows, there are certain times when it is most prudent to avoid the martial embrace. However, this is not an excuse to stop showing love and affection to your spouse. One of the most beautiful aspects of Natural Family Planning is that is respects the whole person and recognizes that a couples’ relationship needs to be nourished and cared for even when the ultimate marital union is not an option. Luckily, there are so many ways to show tenderness and love to one’s spouse.
In honor of the day when everyone is celebrating love, here is a collection of ten ideas of how you can keep the flame alive when your discernment tells you it is not the time to add another soul to your family.
- Tell your spouse how much you appreciate what he/she does for you and your children. Focus especially upon the work done to support your family or things that often go overlooked. You could even leave this message in a note for your loved one to find.
- Give your spouse a meaningful gift. This is really a time that thought matters more than cost. Choose something that will show that you treasure your spouse or will make their life easier.
- Choose a new hobby, learn all about it as a couple, and then regularly participate in the new adventure together.
- Agree upon a book to read as a couple. It can be such a bonding experience to enter into a fictional or historical world with someone else. If neither you nor your spouse are avid readers try starting by listening to audio-books.
- Plan a special date together. Remember when you were dating and preparing for marriage and took time from your busy schedules to actually date? Get back into the habit of dating, even if it simply means planning a special night at home.
- Do your ordinary, everyday tasks together. It can be great fun to make memories just doing the quotidian tasks of the everyday. Try grocery shopping together, raking the leaves, taking your child to the activities, etc.
- Complete a chore around the house that is your spouse’s lease favorite chore or one that always seems to get missed. Do that chore with a smile and show your spouse you are willing to do even the hard things for love of him or her.
- Join a ministry as a couple. It can be a very good experience to know that you are making the world a better place as a team. Even right now with many ministries closed, do not forget about the important ministry of praying for our Church, society, and world.
- Show physical affection such as holding hands, hugs, and kisses. Be sure to talk with your spouse about how they can most feel loved when the marital embrace is not being chosen.
- Be sure to say, “I Love You” often. Even though we know this intellectually, it is always great to hear!
Danielle Dyann Abril is the mother of many children through adoption, foster care, and biological motherhood. She home-schools her crew, blogs at https://unrepeatableblessings.com, and in her spare time works with the Archdiocese of St. Louis Office of Natural Family Planning to share the good news about NFP with the world.