Why NFP: Responsible Parenthood - NFP. Good for Life.

Married love, therefore, requires of husband and wife the full awareness of their obligations in the matter of responsible parenthood, which today, rightly enough, is much insisted upon, but which at the same time should be rightly understood. Thus, we do well to consider responsible parenthood in the light of its varied legitimate and interrelated aspects.

With regard to the biological processes, responsible parenthood means an awareness of, and respect for, their proper functions. In the procreative faculty the human mind discerns biological laws that apply to the human person.

With regard to man’s innate drives and emotions, responsible parenthood means that man’s reason and will must exert control over them.

With regard to physical, economic, psychological and social conditions, responsible parenthood is exercised by those who prudently and generously decide to have more children, and by those who, for serious reasons and with due respect to moral precepts, decide not to have additional children for either a certain or an indefinite period of time.

[Responsible parenthood] has one further essential aspect of paramount importance. It concerns the objective moral order which was established by God, and of which a right conscience is the true interpreter. In a word, the exercise of responsible parenthood requires that husband and wife, keeping a right order of priorities, recognize their own duties toward God, themselves, their families and human society.

From this it follows that they are not free to act as they choose in the service of transmitting life, as if it were wholly up to them to decide what is the right course to follow. On the contrary, they are bound to ensure that what they do corresponds to the will of God the Creator. The very nature of marriage and its use makes His will clear, while the constant teaching of the Church spells it out.
Humanae Vitae, paragraph 10

Since a young girl, I felt the tug on my heart that God was calling me to a vocation of wife and mother. I always dreamt of a big family. And I mean big. Full dinner table, kids filling every space in our home and yard. I craved the chaos and abundant love that life seemed to offer.

There was just one problem.
I neglected to invite God into that decision making. I focused on MY will, not His.

Fast forward. Newly married and more than ready to start my plan on growing that big family. I saw those double pink lines on the pregnancy test and was elated. That joy turned to sorrow a month later when we were told our baby no longer had a heartbeat. I heard God whisper on my heart “not yet.”

And so we waited for another positive test and a year later our oldest was born. I thought I would be ready to bring a sibling into our family quickly. God had other plans. My husband and I continued to hear him whisper “not yet”. God graciously showed us that we needed to prudently wait to grow our family.

In the following years we have added another child and our family life has grown abundantly. Yet again, we hear God asking us to wait. While remaining open to His gifts, He is asking us to sacrifice for the good of each other and our family. I am called to remember that I am “not the master of the sources of life but rather the minister of the design established by the Creator” (HV, paragraph 13).

The waiting has sanctified our marriage, revealing our strengths and weaknesses as we are being asked to put the well-being of our beloved before personal desires.

Responsible parenthood is more than just deciding how many children you want. It is discerning with God and your spouse how you both are being called in your vocation to marriage and parenthood. It is understanding that marriage is created by God to be unitive and procreative. Marriage is a complete gift of self, including your fertility. Natural family planning reverences spouses’ combined fertility and allows the couple to give themselves to each other completely, freely, and faithfully every time they come together. Husbands and wives act as true partners in discerning God’s will for them by allowing their marital love to be free, total, faithful, fruitful, and sacrificial.

I do not yet know the plans God has for my family. We may grow through biological children or adoption. He may bless us with several more kids or we may be abundantly blessed with just our two. Our family’s size is not a reflection on our married love or our love of God. Our love is reflected in how we raise our children to know, serve, and love God and each other.